The Baltimore County Police Department has established a new Domestic Partnership with several Baltimore County Service Providers. This partnership is designed to combat the increasing problem of domestic violence by conducting in depth follow-ups with repeat offenders of domestic violence. During the follow-up visit a Baltimore County Police Officer from the Domestic Violence Unit will be accompanied by a County Service Provider from Family and Children's Services who will be able to offer information to all parties involved, to include information on obtaining counseling, exparte procedures and other services to help stop domestic violence. The Baltimore County Police Domestic Violence Unit feels that you should know some of the warning signs of domestic abuse: 1) Using Emotional Abuse: - Putting her down, making her feel bad about herself
- Calling her names
- Playing mind games
- Making her feel guilty
- Making her think she is crazy
2) Using Male Privilege: - Treating her like a servant
- Making all the big decisions
- Acting like "Master of the castle"
- Being the one to define men's and women's roles
3) Using Economic Abuse: - Preventing her from keeping a job
- Making her ask for money, Giving her an allowance
- Taking her money
4) Using Children: - Making her feel guilty about the children
- Using children to relay messages
- Using visitation to harass her
- Threatening to take children away
5) Using Isolation: - Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads and where she goes
- Using jealousy to justify actions
- Limiting her outside involvement
6) Using Threats and Coercion: - Making or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her
- Threatening to leave her, to commit suicide
- To report her to welfare
- Making her drop charges
7) Minimizing, Denying, Blaming: - Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously
- Saying the abuse didn't happen
- Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior, saying she caused it
Woman: In general, women who are abused physically are often isolated. Their partners tend to control their lives to a great extent as well as verbally degrade them. Some examples are as follows: - The woman mentions not being able to use the phone
- She is forbidden from seeing friends unless he is along
- The man has exclusive control over all money and household financial matters
- She is not allowed in the decision making process at home
Children: (Primarily boys) often show signs that his parents are domestically violent. - Serious problems with temper tantrums
- Continual fighting at school or between siblings
- Lashing out at objects, inside or outside of the home
- Treating pets cruelly or abusively
- Threatening younger sister or brother with violence for instance, " You better play with me or I'll kill you. I'll slice you up with a knife"
- Attempting to get attention through hitting, kicking or choking
- Modeling after dad "Monkey see, monkey do"
Progression of violence:
Pre-battering violence: verbal abuse, hitting objects, throwing objects, breaking objects, and making threats. When abusers hit or break objects or make threats, almost 100% resort to battering. Beginning levels: Pushing, Grabbing, Restraining Moderate Levels: Slapping, Pinching, Kicking, Pulling Hair SEVERE Levels: Choking, Beating with objects (Sticks, Ball Bats, Bed Slats Etc) Use of Weapons, and Rape. One in three woman in a battered relationship are raped. Sweet Baby Syndromes (How He Gets To Come Back)
1) Honeymoon Syndrome: Also known as "Hearts and Flowers" any bribe that will get her to return to him.
2) Super Dad Syndrome: He tells her that he will be a great dad if she returns. This works especially if he has neglected the kids in the past.
3) Revival Syndrome: This is not really a valid revival or salvation since he has probably only gone to church a few times. Says he started going to church, found God.
4) Sobriety Syndrome: " If he can stop drinking he will stop beating me" Drinking does not cause beating. If it did, then they would beat strangers on the street.
5) Counseling Syndrome: "I have gone to counseling, I won't do it anymore." Long term counseling is needed and less then 1% voluntarily go into counseling. Common Characteristics of the Batterer: - Have low self esteem
- Believe all the myths about battering relationships
- Be a traditionalist believing in male supremacy and stereotyped masculine sex role in the family
- Be pathologically jealous
- Present a dual personality
- Having a severe stress reaction during which he uses drinking and battering to cope
- Uses sex as an act of aggression to enhance his self-esteem
Common Characteristics of Battered Spouse: - Have low self esteem
- Accept responsibility for batterer's actions
- Suffer from guilt, yet deny the terror and anger she feels
- Use sex as a way to establish intimacy
- Believe that no one will be able to help her resolve her predicament
If you suspect abuse in a family that you know, feel free to contact The Baltimore County Domestic Violence Unit 887-3376. If you area resident in the Wilkens Precinct area contact The Wilkens Community Outreach Unit at 887-0872.
|
Courthouse 